I saw something dark moving outside my house. I moved the curtains aside to get a better look, but it had already disappeared. I went outside to see if it was around the corner, but the porch light wouldn’t come on. I opened the screen and searched for a flashlight in the kitchen. Of the five flashlights I own, only one of them worked. I went back outside, when suddenly, I heard a ton of racket coming from my garbage cans! Spinning around, I see a raccoon dart into the bushes as I bring the light to bare on the cans. My heart racing and the sound of my pulse loud in my ears, I push through the front door and relax in a chair. I ended up falling asleep there and woke this morning to the sound of rain falling hard on the roof. The solid clouds nearly blocked out the Sun as I cleared the sleep from around my eyes and went out front for a smoke. Pulling heavily on the cigarette, I scan my lawn for signs of the raccoon…that’s when I see it. Staring at me from behind my car is something reptilian with a look so fierce, my hands start trembling and I drop my cigarette. Slowly backing towards the door, I catch hold of a baseball bat, shut and lock the door. I think it’s still out there, but I haven’t heard anything in a while. I tried to call the police, but they are jammed with calls due to the rain and advised me to call animal control. Does anyone know what I should do? I don’t think my house is raptor proof. Please help.
Author Archive for fickst
CSS is bullshit for layout. It takes five times longer to create a page, the page never looks the same in all commonly used browsers, and the code is not remotely readable. Tables have defaults that are commonly desired, behaviors that are well documented, and extremely similar implementations across all the commonly used browsers.
CSS is one of the CAUSES of browser incompatibility.
CSS is NOT A STANDARD, it’s the browser’s opinion.
Tables ARE the standard, but trendy designers that require visual tools to do anything more complex than tie a shoe demanded “progress”. More like another holy war, where people that eat, sleep and shit tables are being attacked by young upstarts who are just shy of autistic.
W3C, you can suck my fucking cock. I hope you all starve when CSS comes crashing down around you.
It’s kind of ironic that this piece of shit blog software uses CSS for layout…no wonder our retarded admin can’t decide on a template.
There should be a law…
Preventing game manufacturers from using cut-scene edits to demo a game or create a trailer. I’ve been suckered into more than a few cut-scene classics in the past only to find that I wasn’t seeing anything in the game that I saw in the trailer.
For example, consider something as simple as a rose…
In the trailer, it would look like this:
Once you’ve spent your $50, you get into the game and find that the beautiful rose that enticed you into the game now looks like this:
The Civ trailer posted below is a perfect example of such dishonesty. In the past, they have shown thrilling cut-scene trailers only to deliver the same shitty 2-D interface.
Fuck you Sid.
4 More Days…
Until I see about $500 go up in smoke, whilst exploding about $1200 worth of fireworks. I went shopping today at my favorite fireworks store and got really spendy on their buy one get one free deal. I spent so much, in fact, I got a membership to the Premier VIP shopper club…which basically meant that I was to receive an additional $350 worth of fireworks for free.
In Florida, the laws are pretty shaky and obtaining fireworks basically amounts to filling out a form that states you need them to scare away birds. There are a variety of other excuses you can select on the form, but the whole process is very tongue-in-cheek. After visiting a party and impressing all my friends with how eager I am to throw away money on my favorite holiday, I left them with a 26 shot battery…NOT to be lit until every last person at the party is shitfaced.
Hopefully, I’ll have some good burn stories to reveal after I’ve celebrated the defeat of in-bred island and the creation of our nation.
Age Of Conan
So, I stopped by the AoC community site today and fell in love once again with the wisdom of Funcom. I played AO back before WoW and loved the adult-ish nature of the content. Fast forward to AoC, which will carry a “Mature” rating… Now, I’ve played games that have a mature rating and while the graphic violence is indeed for mature audiences, the graphic sex has always fallen limp.
When Funcom wrote that AoC would have brothels and what not, I was encourage by the direction, but figured it would fall short of, oh say…”nudity”. Then I found this screenshot, which was too hot for their non-Mature rated website…
All I can say is carry on, Funcom…you’ll get my dollars.
Who wants, much less “steals” a picture of a pygmy with a tiki? WTF?
New tradition…it’s Friday, so I’m gonna have buttsecks with some guy. Pretty much the same thing here…
http://www.itaffectsyou.org/blog/?p=147
It sucks that her selfless acts of charity are being overlooked to enforce some silly rules about “same-sex” relationships. To allow her work to continue, I’d like to offer free “hetero” lessons to her and her significant other. I can teach them the benefits of being with a man, while curbing their appetite for the furry cup.
Once they are hopelessly addicted to the cock, they can once again join the ministry to aid the homeless…problem solved.
Apparently our admin has Downs, which roughly explains the problem. As I sit here watching him drool on his keyboard attempting to fix the problem, I’m reminded of the timeless art of midget tossing. Seeing as how his condition caused him to grow more slowly, he looks to be a good size for chucking across the room.
The problem, is that while it’s perfectly acceptable to toss a midget across the room, Down’s kids are overlooked because of their “special” nature. Considering most EOE laws cover discrimination of this sort, I think it’s high time to toss midgets AND Down’s kids with equal gusto.
So, grab the nearest Down’s kid and give them a toss. They will love you for the attention you give them, to be sure.
OH SHI
Fucking subject line cut off my titl
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