16
Jul
07

what i’ve learned from star wars

Star Wars

  1. In order to be a bad ass, something fucked must happen to you while you were a kid. Examples:
    • Anakin aka Darth Vader: Mom died as a kid, becomes a slave.
    • Boba Fett: Dad gets beheaded by muthafuckin Sam Jackson.
    • Luke Skywalker: Lives with his aunt and uncle so obviously mom and dad aren’t in the picture. Obi told him that Vader killed his dad. (which is a fucking lie but whatever)
  2. The more limbs you get cutoff, the more l33t you will become.
  3. Falling in love with a female and being super jealous leads to the dark side, ultimately cementing your role as a bad ass. (besides the crying like a little bitch…)
  4. No matter what movie he’s in, Harrison Ford will always be Indiana Jones. And I know, Indiana Jones came out after the first Star Wars. Don’t give a shit.
  5. George Lucas is a money hungry douche because he got talked into making the prequel movies. All he did was fuck up people’s childhood. Way to go George, way to go.

3 Responses to “what i've learned from star wars”


  1. 1 noob Jul 16th, 2007 at 10:52 am

    10/10 - this post delivers!

    Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones first, Han Solo second. Agreed.

  2. 2 ninja Jul 16th, 2007 at 5:18 pm

    Luke Skywalker became a bad-ass because he found the crispy fried bodies of his aunt and uncle. Then he wanted to bone his sister. Then he slept inside a fucking animal in the snow. Then he got in a car accident and looked like a 50 year old serial rapist. The end.

  3. 3 noob Jul 16th, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    lol@ ninja… wow!

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